Taking the Bible Literally

[Someone sent me this EMail and I just about died laughing, then realized that many people believe this literal interpretation, then blame society for "not following God's word". I added the new map of the actual nation, which represents today's reality. - EL]
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Dr. Laura Schlessinger, an observant Orthodox Jew, is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is a hilarious letter to Dr. Laura in response to her edict.


Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination.

End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own a Canadian?

[It's also stated that you may rape female slaves, but if they are engaged first, then it's polite to release them afterwards. Now, if I ask first if they are engaged, can I believe them if they say yes? I certainly don't want to give up any female slaves that I can rape repeatedly..]

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbiden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?

11. Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
"One blasphemous liberal sinner"
(actual name changed to protect the sinful devil worshipper from being burned at the stake like Joan d'Arc)

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[My NOTES: Now, obviously people say “These ideas are out of date – times have changed” – yeah? IF so, then why is this called “God’s word”, still? And is God’s word valid in some eras, NOT in others? If its invalid now, why are people still buying 3 Bibles each, on average, why is everyone claiming this is “immutable, everlasting wisdom”?

Detractors say western religion (the Judeo-Christian ones) have become “shopping cart religions” – you only buy the parts of it that you believe in. In that case, each person is creating their own “personal religion”. That being the case, the Bible then is nothing more than a “rough idea” of what should be ethical or not, and we each decide on our own. Somewhere in the Old T is says, “There was no king in Israel, every man did what he thought was right”.

That’s it in a nutshell: we EACH do what we think is right, so every person has his own “religion”. This is yet another reason it won’t work for any society or government, its all open to various interpretation – hence there are over 36,000 denominations of “Christianity” in the U.S. alone.. and if “only one” is right, that means that 99.999% of us have chosen “wrong”, and we’re all DOOMED!

I've often asked God to "smite me dead" if I'm wrong, and I'm still around, saying the same things for over 50 years now. They hated me in Sunday school, because they couldn't answer my questions, being "volunteers with the calling", but NO knowledge of theology, religion, or the Bible at all. Spiritual illiterates are teaching our kids this stuff!

"Any man who doesn't seek knowledge of God cannot be a priest in Israel"

ps - I believe Iran, and the Taliban in Afghanistan are trying to live "by the Bible", you can look at those societies and determine if "living by the word of God" works in reality for you (all we have is our opinions, right? Some will always like it, some not, true of every system really). In actuality, democracy would have prevented the American Revolution (supported by only 9%, fought by 3%) - EL

The Eye of the Needle

Jerusalem was surrounded on all sides by walls for defense from numerous enemies, like a fort, with various gates for entry from outside, most narrow enough to provide an easy defense. The narrowest of all these gates was called "The Needle", due to its extremely narrow size and length. In order for camels to pass through he Needle gate (usually called "eye of the needle" for the parable, since "passing through a needle" would make no sense to us), they had to remove all baggage and everything from the camels, then they could get through the gate. Those caravans with heavy freight surely chose a wider gate for entrance, but hence the saying.

It's easier for a camel to give up its goods and continue passage to the Holy City, or Jerusalem, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven, which involves being willing to give up everything in the material world to enter. Most people think "give up worldly possessions", but it means leaving family behind too, also part of the material world - so it's most likely a reference to death. It's a spiritual quest, so you have to be willing to leave the material realm and your physical body.

The implication of mentioning a "rich man" is that the wealthy may be stronger bound to their possessions than someone poor, and less willing to leave the material world behind.

Walking on Water

Water is used in the Bible to represent many things. It can be a vital source of life, as all living things on land need fresh water for survival. It also represents purification, used for both bodily cleansing and spiritual healing, such as baptism. In a negative sense, troubled waters represent the tribulations of the material world and the negative thoughts that keep us from a more spiritually realized life.

In the walking on water parable, Jesus represents the fully realized spiritual self, which is untouched by concerns of the material realm. No matter what happens to the physical body, the purified and spiritually centered soul rises above the negativity of the material and remains uncorrupted.

Peter, from the Greek word petra, meaning “earth”, represents the physical body. In this parable, the physical self can try to rise above the troubled waters and become spiritual, but will always be connected to the material realm by its very nature – the physical body requires constant care and nourishment, food and water, and will be unable to walk above the waters like the spiritually realized self. It’s possible to become so immersed in negativity that the individual can be “drowned in the waters”.

No matter how hard we may try, eventually the physical body will grow old and die, this is the reality of life, but our spiritually connected souls will remain untouched.

Loaves and Fishes

How can a multitude be fed with such little food and be content?

Why are fish throughout the Bible? They represent the fecundity, the multiplication of life but specifically the wealth of new ideas with the possibility of increase. Jesus taught about the realm of spiritual ideas, the inexhaustible abundance both above and below (on earth, the material, as it is in heaven, the spiritual). Passages of Jesus and others eating fish symbolize the appropriation of ideas, they were talking about the mental level, not the physical. Jesus did not attract a multitude that was hungry for food, they were hungry for his words of wisdom, his new ideas. How often have you gone to a church service seeking real food?

Loaves and bread represent spiritual substance (Bethelehem in Hebrew means maker of bread), food for the soul. Any real food eaten is consumed and gone by the next day, but ideas and wisdom of spiritual substance are with you for a lifetime. The multitudes came and heard new ideas, ideas of deep wisdom and spiritual meaning (substance), and were thus blessed and content.

For many, this story increases their agnosticism and skepticism, for others, yet another physical miracle; it’s because many do not understand symbolism, metaphors, or parables. It is for this reason that most (the masses hence the term Mass) are told to just take it on faith, and not to question; unfortunately they may never really understand. Jesus was not a magician and did not need to dazzle people; these stories have another meaning. Even Jesus’ disciples asked, “Master, why do you so often speak in parables.” The reply was that the truly spiritual, those with pure intentions, honestly seeking God, would understand the true meaning.

The Search for a Deeper Meaning

The Bible obviously exists on two levels. One is the material realm, where it provides a rich history of Israel, its beginning, its laws and ethics, its wars, the story of its patriarchs and its prophets, and a collection of the local wisdom, songs, poety, mythology, literature, folklore, and legends.

The other level is the much deeper, more obscure level: the metaphysical teachings, which deal with the spiritual realm. In Bible symbology, the search for this knowledge is called fishing in deep waters (Joyce Myers has an excellent sermon on this, available on CD), which yields the true meaning of the teachings, often called the perennial wisdom throughout the world, or those truths taken to be universal and that cannot be denied philosophically.

In order to teach about this hidden, inwardly experienced part of life, the authors had to use everyday metaphors, often worked into parables, or simple stories which yielded a deeper meaning. The quest for knowledge or wisdom often means an understanding of these deeper mysteries, as expressed in the quote 'seek and ye shall find'.

This is life-long education for me, the 'way of the initiate'. I've had theology courses in college, several years of theology classes beyond that (was a year away from a degree, from being a Reverend!), also courses in meditation, yoga, and healing. Growing up, I was in the choir and eventually got the God and Country award in scouting for church work and bible knowledge (it had to be read cover to cover, we had to know the books in order, and be able to recite major passages by memory like the 23rd Psalm and Lord's Prayer). I actually read it completely twice, and now have not only several versions, but numerous books on its origins, the removed books, the Dead Sea scrolls translations, a concordance, a metaphysical dictionary, a biography of all those mentioned, a comparison to history - you name it: it found me and entered my consciousness.

Recently Biblical scholars, using history, archaeology, linguistics, and comparative theology, have discovered and revealed much more about its origins and influences, and the fact that it was originally much larger, with much of the material having been removed from scripture over centuries of debate and organized censorship to solidify certain points of view, or just for political expediency, to appease some part of the Holy Roman Empire. Gone now are the books of Enoch about the bonds between men and angels, gone are more books of Eden, numerous more gospels, even the story of Mary and her birth. Protestants even removed the last chapter of the Book of Daniel (its still IN the Catholic Bible) because it warns the people to 'not support the priesthood with money or food' (orders of the King, who beheaded the priests), that they had a direct line to God themselves and were being taken advantage of for the financial benefit of the priests and their families!

It's pointless (and lazy) to just read passages back to people who can read it for themselves, in private, and then call that a sermon; unfortunately I experience this too often when I visit churches, not to mention preachers emphasizing the unimportant or downright innacurate. One recent Easter service I had to listen to this lie that the church seems intent on perpetuating: "Mary was a prostitute, Jesus was the first that didn't want her body"; to what purpose is this repeated, other than to heap more denigration on women, in this case an original disciple, and one perhaps even more important than the others? In the synoptic gospels, Jesus appears first to Mary in two of the four after the Resurrection; the Catholic church said "this was irrelevant since she wasn't a disciple"; Jesus' reappearance to Mary wasn't important? Then WHY is it a major scene in two gospels?

We may only need 'just faith' (Paul), but our innate thirst and curiosity for knowledge drives us to seek more understanding, to exercise our minds, to enrich our spiritual side, to enlighten or illuminate the darkness or the unknown, the part of us inexperienced in this realm. Do we ever feel we have truly found wisdom, and quit seeking it?

The goal of this blog will be to talk about the symbology used for the metaphysical side, sometimes called occult, meaning hidden, called the Cabbala in Judaism, called the secret teachings in the gospels, given only to the disciples, and to reveal what was meant by certain metaphors (bread=spiritual sustenance), to give people new ideas to consider (fish=new ideas), and hopefully provide a richer experience of certain sections, and maybe you'll find meaning or clarity (clairvoyance=clear vision) for yourself.

This is the true meaning of teaching a man to fish, to go beyond the superficial (shallow waters) for the deeper meaning.